I know that this time must be confusing for you.  Elise doesn’t really know the difference whether or not daddy is around, but you do.  Thank God that when daddy left, a whole lot of family members were there to not “replace” him but be able to be in your life now.  We never saw anyone before, now you see your Grandma and Grandpa every week and your Mamaw every few weeks.  You also spend time with your cousins regularly whereas you never even met them before.  You are growing up with your family and I love it.  That’s the way it is supposed to be.  I think you’ll understand the dynamics one day.

I know that you desire to go to school.  You have said before that you want to see the same friends more often.  You meet friends so easily but because San Diego is so big, we rarely run into the same people at the parks and the beach.  You do love going to your Sunday school class which I make sure to bring you to every week so you can at least have that as a regular thing.  I am planning on attending more things that you can get familiar with until I have the money to get you into preschool and/or a dance class.  Preschool is so expensive but as soon as I can, you will go.  I have so many things to figure out in the next few months, where are we going to live, where am I going to work, who will take care of you and Malia while I work, and how I am going to juggle it all.  I’ve been so impatient with you lately but we still do have fun together.  You are such an amazing young girl.  Tonight we went to eat at chick-fil-a and there was a young girl that you were playing with.  actually, you asked her if she would be your friend and she said yes.  You looked so happy when she said that.  You fill my heart with so much joy.  When she was eating with her family you were turned around watching them and she had a phone that she was playing some games with.  She told you that she had her own phone and was bragging about it.  I know that you wanted one too… but later on you told me that she had her own phone, you paused and then said that wanting something someone else has was wrong (not in those words but the same concept).  I loved that because we had talked about that a few weeks ago and I think you handled it so well.  We are going to have some struggles with that and I never want you to feel like we don’t have enough.  God has always provided for our needs… He’s even provided for many of our wants.  But we are most likely going to struggle.  I continue to have to remind myself that we are blessed so much even though it’s going to be hard in a lot of ways.  We will make it and God is taking care of us as our Heavenly Father… no better provider available than Him.


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